Joy

I've been full of joy recently - Christmas joy. What you may not realize is that for many years (over 20 years) I haven't been excited about Christmas much at all. See when I was little, Christmas was a BIG day, my mom knew how to celebrate holidays and she and my father made Christmas special. I moved out of state for university and often couldn't go back to my parents home for holidays. Added to this, were some bad memories surrounding Christmas and other holidays; eventually I didn't look forward to any holiday. Some years ago, I prayed and asked God to get back what I had as a kid: the love, the excitement, the desire to celebrate. 

Slowly I began to see a little changes, mostly, I saw the dread or distaste go away, but the enjoyment was still lacking...until this year. I can't explain "what" happened, although, I do have my guesses at what could have been part of the change. Last year, I went to a home run by nuns during Christmas to spend time in prayer to God. I was welcomed warmly to the house and invited to join in meals and some celebrations. It was so different from any Christmas I had ever had; I celebrated the "reason" of Christmas last year in a way I never had before.

Yesterday, as I was walking up the snow covered hill towards home, I realized how grateful I am that the love, excitement and desire to celebrate is found within my heart again. I am grateful for answered prayer. To be honest, it took a few years before I saw the answer to the prayer. As I look back, I see that God has done a lot of healing in my heart since that prayer and I am sure that healing has been a significant part of getting the joy back. Actually, I realize that that was God answering my prayer, but I didn't "see" it because I was in the process of healing "other" issues. The truth is, it was my heart that needed mending all along. 

So if you prayed to God yesterday, last week, last year or a few years ago...then my prayer for you is that you would see how God is responding to that prayer, because sometimes it difficult to see the work He is doing in your life because it looks different than what we expect. Bless you on your journey. (Amen.)